Hands down the best email ever (Lauren conquers the monkey bars)

Lauren has been on a personal mission to conquer the monkey bars since last spring.  Every time we went to a playground with monkey bars, Tae and I would take turns holding her up (she's ~55lb now!) while she went through the motions.  When she decided to try on her own, she would cross one bar and jump down.  Lauren saw other kids fly across the bars effortlessly and she was mesmerized.  That just gave her more determination to cross it herself.  But she was never able to. She was ridiculously tenacious.  I would say, "Lauren, give your arms a break.  Let's do the slide and come back to the monkey bars."  She shook her head and went back at it.  Again, couldn't make it past one bar.  

Then on June 6, 2013, I received this unexpected email from Lauren's Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Bianca Lavey.  In it contained the picture above and these amazing words:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Kyung,

Miss Kelly and I wanted to let you know how proud Lauren made us today. 
On a regular basis, she makes us proud, but today we saw just how 
amazing she can be when she sets her mind to do something. On the 
playground many of the kids have been attempting to cross all of the 
monkey bars. It's been a bit of a big deal to be able to go all the way 
across and only a handful of kids can do it. Well, today was the day 
Lauren decided to have a go. She is a super star athlete (among other 
things) but at first she could only go one bar without falling down. She 
would look to us to see if we notice and when she saw that we did, she 
got very shy and would immediately drop down. I'm sure you already know 
this, but she is one very determined young lady! Other kids might have 
given up and just played with something else, but not Lauren. She tried 
and tried, over and over again. Each time with more focus and 
concentration. We were amazed at her dedication, focus and determination 
to do what she started. And wouldn't you know, by the time recess was 
done, SHE COULD DO IT!!! All the kindergarten teachers gave her a huge 
round of applause, which embarrassed her terribly. But we were so proud 
at how she just would not give up until she got it. I know it might seem 
like a little thing but this is exactly the way she is in class. She 
works and works, with focus and determination, until she gets it. And 
there is no doubt that she learned this very important life lesson from 
the both of you!

We took a picture of her and a little video so that you could share in 
this special moment with her! Way to go Lauren! We are proud of you!

Warmly,

Bianca Lavey and Jenny Kelly

This email came through around 10 p.m. and as soon as I read it, I went downstairs to the movie room where Tae was.  I said, "Pause the movie.  You have to read this."  He reluctantly paused and read it.  About five seconds in, he said, "This is going to make me cry."  We were beaming.  I shared the email with my mom, brother and friends.  I have felt astronomical pride in Lauren and Elizabeth for the past six years.  I must say this has got to be my Top 5.  For Lauren, this achievement is all about her success in conquering the monkey bars.  For me, the monkey bars are just an example of everything behind it - her innate sense of hard work, determination and accomplishing what she set out to do.  

On Saturday June 8, I took Lauren to the playground near the Manhasset LIRR train station as promised.  Look at her focus and determination in this video as she accomplishes something she has been trying for over a year.  Go Lauren!  You are a gift.  

Article: The Important Thing About Yelling

I am fairly proud of the fact that most of the time, I have - or at the very least appear to have - my shit together.  When it comes to the girls, I try hard to be patient, loving, gentle and kind.  What ends up happening in reality is constant hurrying (to get ready, eat, get in the car, do homework, finish bedtime stories) and becoming annoyed, frustrated and disappointed.  Disappointed that I am disappointed.  Disappointed that my "perfect" Lauren sometimes whines, gets cranky, and isn't perfect.  Sometimes even disappointed that Elizabeth is so different from Lauren because if she were the same, my life would be so much easier!  (Yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds.)  As you can tell from this picture, my Ebi can be tough and defiant.  While I know those characteristics can serve her well in life, sometimes they make being a mom hard.  Even though I took the critical step of identifying and acknowledging my wrongdoings, the negativity that often results via an overstretched mom rears its ugly head now and then.

Here's a recent example.  I have been traveling about once a month and it's taking a toll.  I have traveling-working-mother guilt, especially for my last trip on 5/30 since Tae wasn't even home (he was in Vegas for a bachelor party).  My partner-in-crime at work resigned and his last day was May 24 so that's another stress factor while I figure things out.  When I glance at my email during dinner and I see a red exclamation point, or when I see an email from a colleague I don't like, I become stressed and grow irritable.  I snap at Tae, lose my patience with the girls, or get annoyed at my mom.  Essentially, I hurt those that I love the most and are closest to me.  

Then I stumbled upon this article.  I am certainly not ready to go Hands Free, but I am making the conscience decision to be present, not look at my phone every two minutes and take each moment as it comes.  I also know that Lauren and Elizabeth respond better to a gentle mom, not a mean mommy.  Recently, Lauren spilled a decent amount of water on her bed while taking her last gulp before bed.  I likely would have reacted negatively - an "ugh" or an eye roll.  But I recalled this article.  Instead, I dabbed the wet spot and assured her it would dry by the morning.  I am and will always be a work in progress but I hope the girls know that I am trying and doing my best for them.  Because really when all is said and done, being a mom is the best and I love it.