I heard Oprah say several times throughout her talk show career that she still packs her lunch everyday. Not directly to save money, but because the she still had the "poor" mentality and she thinks about certain things whereas someone having grown up in a life of privilege would never consider.
I feel like I had one of the best childhoods ever. My family took tons of trips, celebrated birthdays and holidays, and I remember many visits to the toy store. Even after my father passed away suddenly on Sept 20, 1984, my lifestyle didn't change - at least in my eyes. (Ask my mother, she'll tell you that her life changed inside out, upside down, sideways, etc.!) My mom still continued with private schools (thru 8th grade), my brother and I continued with piano and tennis lessons, and even went to Europe and Asia to visit our extended family over summer break. But slowly, as I grew up, I realized how difficult my mom's life had been in order to minimize disruption to her childrens' lives after our father died. My mom would tell me well after I had my first job that she would only put in $10 worth of gas so she could save enough to give me a monthly allowance while I was away at school.
I am now at a point in my life where I am 110% fulfilled and happy! I feel so complete in every aspect of my life. My family. My friends. My career. Tae and I are lucky to have the same outlook on money where we see it as a means to an end and not THE end. But because now that I understand the magnitude of my mother's sacrifices and all that she gave up for her children, I would say with absolute certainty that a part of my mentality is poor. I think long and hard before spending an extra $1,500 on an oceanfront rental vs. Garden View (even if I will easily give my mother $1,500 as a thank you - she usually doesn't take it by the way...) I rarely pay full price for clothes. I will spend the extra time to price compare if I know multiple retailers sell a particular product.
Last week, I came home to several new books on the coffee table. My mother had taken Lauren to the toy store where instead of picking toys, she picked about five new books for herself and Elizabeth. My mom was so proud of Lauren that day (she has been amazing during her piano lessons) and as a reward, my mom asked Lauren where she wanted to go after her lesson. Lauren answered, "The toy store." That same evening, Lauren asked me for cookies. So I baked some for her (frozen dough, not scratch!). She then asked for milk. Seconds later, bam, it was right in front of her. I realized at that very moment that this girl will ask for something and it will be given to her. It HAS been given to her. I took this realization as an opportunity to explain the concept of appreciation...that not everybody has easy access to basic-to-her things like books, cookies, and milk. Of course she innocently asked, "Why?" - not that I expected her to get it immediately. It was just a reminder to me that my girls have to grow up with some sort of poor mentality. I want them to grow up with drive, ambition, hunger, and the will to be their best. I want them to experience the thrill of achieving something they worked incredibly hard for. I know that in order to experience all these things, there has to be disappointment, defeat, and failure. It will be my job as their mother to always be supportive, dust their pants, help them pick themselves right back up, and keep going. This is what my mother has always done for me.
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